Let's see, where to begin? Ok, let's start with, this has been a horrible week!
On Sunday my mom and sister got into a huuuuge fight. I hate when my family fights. It's horrible on me. So, basically no one is talking to anyone. Ah! But, I don't want to talk about that.
Well, my job at JCP Portraits is a bust. I'm so upset about it too. I really, really, really thought this was the job for me! But, what they do and what I do, is total opposite. And the worst part is, what I do, sells. I mean I've never had a customer upset with my work. Honestly, it's been the other way around, they rave about it. So, just to give you a hint of what I'm talking about, I did my own thing one day at work. The mom bought a HUGE package of base images...base meaning absoulutely NO enhancements. But, when I showed them to a manager, she wasn't happy. What? I just sold a whole package of them, but what? They aren't good enough. Another bad thing is that no one there has any clue about diabetes. I work usually from 9-3 with no lunch break. Well, let's rephrase that, NO break. at all. So a few times I've gotten a low blood sugar. Of course, that's going to happen because I haven't gotten to eat all day! But, it's always a problem, for them. "we're too busy", or the eyes roll. I can not help it, when I need to eat, I need to eat. End of story! She acts like I'm just lying about it or something. My hands & feet kill from standing all day, and from holding an 11 poound camera. I could go on and give you a million examples of why exactly I call it a a hell hole, but it won't do any good. Either you're on my side, or theirs.
So, this can bring me to my next thing to rant about. I went to a store, which shall remain annonymous. In this store works, a friend? If I should even say that. But, her mom was there too. From the moment we walked in there was NOTHING but attitude. Why? I have no clue. It was from both of them. I felt like my mom and I just walked on to the battle field, and the enemy was launching granades at us left and right. Anyways, she asked about my job, I said it wasn't going very well. Her MOM, of all people, started to talk about how I can't keep a job, and all this bullshit. I told her about them not letting me eat, and she said she's a manager and she feels the exact same way. "you diabetics take advantage of that". HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is she kidding me? There is nothing more that I want than to be perfectly healthy! I've come to the point in my life where, when I wake up in the morning, I'm so thankful. She has no idea what I go through everyday. How bad it hurts to walk, not to be able to carry a gallon of milk. To have no controle over what your hands do. For your feet to burn so badly when you just get into the shower. No, no, she has no clue, and yet I get this much heat from both of them. I'm lazy? SPOILED?!!!???
There was more that was said, but I will leave it at that, because I just can't bare to think about it anymore! But, because of poeple like them, and like my dear, dear sister, I've decided that I want to open a foundation to teach people aboue diabetes. What it really is, what it does to your body, and how it feels! And no I don't want sympathy. I want people to understand, it's not about "not being able to eat sweets" it's so much more than that. I wish I could show every doubter how it feels. Let them walk a mile in my shoes, or countless others, but if I was given the chance, I don't think I would. I wouldn't want anyone to deal with what I deal with, even for an hour. It sucks. But it's not the worst. That's how I've always felt about it. It could be so much worse. But it burns my ass to hear people say that I'm spoiled, that I take advantage of having diabetes. I wish I could show them how it feels to wake up from being unconscience due to a low blood sugar, to honestly be scared shitless that you're about to take your last breath. That you're not coming back from this one. And to wake up in your own home, in your own bed, with your own husband talking to you, and you NO idea where u are, or what's going on. THAT! is what I've dealt with for years now, 14 to be exact. And I think I handle it very well. I deal with the pain, and all that with a smile on my fuckin' face, because I'm still here. So, back to the foundation. I really am going to start researching for it. I'm thinking I could do scholarships, as well as raise money for a cure, and do seminars about diabetes, and all that kind of stuff. Stupidity has inspired me to say the least!
Now on to Michael Jackson's death. I'm crushed. There isn't anything else I can say about it. I mean CRUSHED.
We found baby Floyd a new home yesterday. As much as me & him didn't get a long, it was super hard to get rid of him. He is in a loving home with my cousin, Tara and her boyfriend Michael, and their boxer, Bella. He & Bella fell in love the moment their eyes met! Bella is full grown boxer, and Floyd at 5 months old is as big as she. I was so happy to find him such a loving home. Ryan and I can't begin to thank Tara and Michael enough for what they've done for us. We were so scared we'd give him to the wrong people and he'd be a fight dog. But, with them, that's not possible. So a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
In other news, we are moving on Sunday! I get to open my own studio space. It's not as cool as it sounds, it will just be a room, with all my photogrpahy equipment. It'll be good for what I want to do though. I just had a girl offer to be my "business parter" but I turned her down for sure. lol. I'm looking to see what I can do, on my own. I want to pursue this newly found talent. Maybe, I'm not even a photographer..maybe I've just been lucky!
Tomorrow I am doing a bride to be's hair & makeup for her 2 engagement parites. You see I wear MANY hats. I do lots of things. But, after that I have Dara's baby shower. And then at 6 I have a cocktail party to go to. Ohhhh fancy, smanshy. lol. Busy, busy days coming ahead!
But, I can't wait to move, and start over. This has been a hell of a week, and I've skipped on some things, but after writing about it I feel a lot better. I'm ready for tomorrow, and for new days, and a better me.
Until next time, peace && love.
