Gettin' It Off My Chest!!

Let's see, where to begin? Ok, let's start with, this has been a horrible week!
On Sunday my mom and sister got into a huuuuge fight. I hate when my family fights. It's horrible on me. So, basically no one is talking to anyone. Ah! But, I don't want to talk about that.
Well, my job at JCP Portraits is a bust. I'm so upset about it too. I really, really, really thought this was the job for me! But, what they do and what I do, is total opposite. And the worst part is, what I do, sells. I mean I've never had a customer upset with my work. Honestly, it's been the other way around, they rave about it. So, just to give you a hint of what I'm talking about, I did my own thing one day at work. The mom bought a HUGE package of base images...base meaning absoulutely NO enhancements. But, when I showed them to a manager, she wasn't happy. What? I just sold a whole package of them, but what? They aren't good enough. Another bad thing is that no one there has any clue about diabetes. I work usually from 9-3 with no lunch break. Well, let's rephrase that, NO break. at all. So a few times I've gotten a low blood sugar. Of course, that's going to happen because I haven't gotten to eat all day! But, it's always a problem, for them. "we're too busy", or the eyes roll. I can not help it, when I need to eat, I need to eat. End of story! She acts like I'm just lying about it or something. My hands & feet kill from standing all day, and from holding an 11 poound camera. I could go on and give you a million examples of why exactly I call it a a hell hole, but it won't do any good. Either you're on my side, or theirs.
So, this can bring me to my next thing to rant about. I went to a store, which shall remain annonymous. In this store works, a friend? If I should even say that. But, her mom was there too. From the moment we walked in there was NOTHING but attitude. Why? I have no clue. It was from both of them. I felt like my mom and I just walked on to the battle field, and the enemy was launching granades at us left and right. Anyways, she asked about my job, I said it wasn't going very well. Her MOM, of all people, started to talk about how I can't keep a job, and all this bullshit. I told her about them not letting me eat, and she said she's a manager and she feels the exact same way. "you diabetics take advantage of that". HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is she kidding me? There is nothing more that I want than to be perfectly healthy! I've come to the point in my life where, when I wake up in the morning, I'm so thankful. She has no idea what I go through everyday. How bad it hurts to walk, not to be able to carry a gallon of milk. To have no controle over what your hands do. For your feet to burn so badly when you just get into the shower. No, no, she has no clue, and yet I get this much heat from both of them. I'm lazy? SPOILED?!!!???
There was more that was said, but I will leave it at that, because I just can't bare to think about it anymore! But, because of poeple like them, and like my dear, dear sister, I've decided that I want to open a foundation to teach people aboue diabetes. What it really is, what it does to your body, and how it feels! And no I don't want sympathy. I want people to understand, it's not about "not being able to eat sweets" it's so much more than that. I wish I could show every doubter how it feels. Let them walk a mile in my shoes, or countless others, but if I was given the chance, I don't think I would. I wouldn't want anyone to deal with what I deal with, even for an hour. It sucks. But it's not the worst. That's how I've always felt about it. It could be so much worse. But it burns my ass to hear people say that I'm spoiled, that I take advantage of having diabetes. I wish I could show them how it feels to wake up from being unconscience due to a low blood sugar, to honestly be scared shitless that you're about to take your last breath. That you're not coming back from this one. And to wake up in your own home, in your own bed, with your own husband talking to you, and you NO idea where u are, or what's going on. THAT! is what I've dealt with for years now, 14 to be exact. And I think I handle it very well. I deal with the pain, and all that with a smile on my fuckin' face, because I'm still here. So, back to the foundation. I really am going to start researching for it. I'm thinking I could do scholarships, as well as raise money for a cure, and do seminars about diabetes, and all that kind of stuff. Stupidity has inspired me to say the least!
Now on to Michael Jackson's death. I'm crushed. There isn't anything else I can say about it. I mean CRUSHED.
We found baby Floyd a new home yesterday. As much as me & him didn't get a long, it was super hard to get rid of him. He is in a loving home with my cousin, Tara and her boyfriend Michael, and their boxer, Bella. He & Bella fell in love the moment their eyes met! Bella is full grown boxer, and Floyd at 5 months old is as big as she. I was so happy to find him such a loving home. Ryan and I can't begin to thank Tara and Michael enough for what they've done for us. We were so scared we'd give him to the wrong people and he'd be a fight dog. But, with them, that's not possible. So a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
In other news, we are moving on Sunday! I get to open my own studio space. It's not as cool as it sounds, it will just be a room, with all my photogrpahy equipment. It'll be good for what I want to do though. I just had a girl offer to be my "business parter" but I turned her down for sure. lol. I'm looking to see what I can do, on my own. I want to pursue this newly found talent. Maybe, I'm not even a photographer..maybe I've just been lucky!
Tomorrow I am doing a bride to be's hair & makeup for her 2 engagement parites. You see I wear MANY hats. I do lots of things. But, after that I have Dara's baby shower. And then at 6 I have a cocktail party to go to. Ohhhh fancy, smanshy. lol. Busy, busy days coming ahead!
But, I can't wait to move, and start over. This has been a hell of a week, and I've skipped on some things, but after writing about it I feel a lot better. I'm ready for tomorrow, and for new days, and a better me.
Until next time, peace && love.

Let's See..

Today was a pretty good day. My nieces are having a big birthday party on Saturday. They have not had a party with their family in more than 5 years, because they live out of state. So, my mom and I made sure that they were going to have a blast. We let them pick the theme, they picked a western theme--cowboys and cowgirls. We've made them, I should say I, made them little cowgirl outfits. Chaps and a vest. We bought the chaps, but I added fringe to get the full affect. I got blisters on my hands, leather & suede tooling is rough! I made them little vests to match their boots & chaps. Kayla's is orange & black, Hayley's is pink & brown. I'm currently working on putting together some games and decorations. I'm making 3 cakes--2 boots (one each for the birthday girls) and a horse shoe. Plus 50 cupcakes, with cowboy hats on them. Hah, have I got my work cut out for me or what? And the party is Saturday. I know they will, but I really hope they enjoy it. One day when they are older I want them to look back at it and think of me. I always put alot of time and love into their gifts. I'm going to the party as a bandit. You know I can't just be a plain ol' cowgirl. haha. Ryan & Xavier are our sheriffs. haha. It should be a good time. We've got rattle snake toss (a mix between hot potato and musical chairs), a dual area (where the kids can shoot water guns at each other to squash their beef. lol), and we are letting them all pick their "old west name", that should be fun! and a Gold Rush pit where we are putting pennies in sand so the kids can really believe that they are rich. lol. But, yes I am excited, and I hope they are too.
I'm shooting more and more photos now. I just did my first baby portraits. Hah. HHHARRDDD is all I have to say. lol. I can't wait to get my studio up and started, that will make things SO much easier for me.
Until next time,

Peace && Love.

I Think I have ADD

when it comes to life. I'm such a busy body. Well, no long Wilmington. They are offering to pay me a shit ton of money to go there, well take it off of my tuition, but I just really don't want to go there, so I've decided I'm not going to. I'm going to go to NKU online, like before. I've also enrolled in beauty school, Regency Beauty Institute, to do hair. There's so many things I want to do, so I'm going for it.
As much as I'm all over the place, I'm so happy at this point in my life. I feel like I'm chasing all my dreams, and preparing my future life & family. I'm setting me and them up for pure sucess. And I'm having fun while doing it.
I have the most supportive husband. I love him so much. He knows I'm a free spirit and he doesn't ever try to keep me grounded, he's always letting me sore. I love that about him. I don't think there's anyone else in the crazy world, that could handle me. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. =)
I got a new tattoo today, the inside of my arm done. This sleeve is going to be complete before I know it! Thank God! It's a character of Henry David Thoreau. Absolutely amazing! Love it. He's all done. My Rosie will be finished one day, Dara wasn't in to her today, which is hilarious, because she's always yelling at me saying I can't start anything until all my other work is done, it was all her this time though! lol.
So, I'm doing a million things right now, and loving it. I'm so thankful for my awesome friends and family. That's all, untill next time

Peace && Love

Class Of '09!

I'm officially a college graduate. Woot Woot. Only like 6 more years, and 3 degrees left!!!!! hahahah.




Goodbye Chatfield! Hello Wilmington! I think that's all I have to say...
Peace && Love.

Ready 2 Bounce.

So, has any 1 told you yet? Ryan and I are moving to Tennessee. Not anytime like soon, but within the next year and a half. Preferably, next summer. I will do online school through NKU, that way I won't have to drop out & transfer, or wait until classes are over. So, cool. I'm so ready to leave, like today. But, we have some stuff we need to do, ya know like save mass money, and sell our house. But, yeah, that's our plan. And I haven't said anything about it because we weren't for sure for sure, but now we are. My mom has already said she'd go with us, which I'm so happy about, idk if I could live without my mom! lol!

Graduation is on Saturday. And I still don't feel like it's a big deal. I'd hoped it would be something I would be proud of, but that hasn't hit me yet. I just don't think of it as worthy of anything too special. Blah.

I got my hair cut again. A super inverted bob. I can't wait to get it cut shorter, but to keep those stupid grad hats on I had to have some hair! haha. It's also light again! Like an auburny redish color. Finally after 2-3 years of dark brown-black hair, I'm light again. I'm in love with it. So thanks to my Whitney! She's my new hair dresser =)

Speaking of her, I'm shooting photos of her tomorrow. Trying to build my portfolio. So, let's hope there is no rain! If not we're going to have a girls day. But, I'm pretty stoked about shooting her.

I start back to work on Thursday. Tuesdays & Thursday, 6hr days. But, whatever. I am also working on packing up the house, and painting it all back white again. =/ no fun at all.

Ummm...I think that's all I have for right now. I'm super tired. Until next time,

Peace && Love.

FanFreakinTastic!

Is pretty much how I am feeling right now. I'm sitting here at my parents house, waiting on my husband 2 get here. I had my last Autobiography class today. We each brought a guest, and those around the campus who could come did. So we had a packed house! We had lunch together. It was a pretty amazing spread, I'm still full! We each had to read a portion of our autobiographies as well. So, I got some public speaking practice in today. The new president of the college sat by me, soo wooot for me. Hopefully I impressed him as much as I did the other people! From the career counselor at our school, I got "you're so talented, do you want to be a writer?" I of course said "yes!", she said "good that's what I was going to tell you that you should do." Well duurrr. lmao!! Yeah, so my mom got a lot of "you should be proud" and/or "I bet your a proud mom!" and she was. She was glowing, and I loved it! Did I mentioned I got an A on mine?? Yeah, I was pretty happy, because I really don't think it deserved an A. I wouldn't have given it an A that's for sure.
So, I also took my human bio exam today. 225 questions long!!!! My brain is FRIED. I have another exam tomorrow. And a paper I still need to write. I swear, I'm so ready for this week to be OVER. But, it will come soon enough. Creative writing final is going to be easy peasy, show up, sign my part of the anthology, and eat, and viola--FINISHED!!!
Friday night, I'm being inducted into PTK & Julia Chatfield Honor Society, as I've already mentioned. I bet I'm going to have the most guests : Ryan, My mom, dad, Leesa, Errin, Casey, and Riley. And afterwards we're going out to eat. I can't tell you how amazing it is to have such a supportive family! =)
Yep, we're still movin'. Down south. =) Within the next year & a half. Hopefully! I'm going to attend NKU online for a bachelor's in leadership. Idk, it's called something more flowery, but it's the same thing as communcation arts. Pretty much. I'll still be able to be a PR representative and what not.
I'm in need of models for my photography portfolio. SO!!! If you're interested, please let me know. I'll come 2 you! You'll get some awesome pics, and I'll get a good porfolio together. This summer I'm also putting together a writing portfolio. I'm going to start writing my mom's biography soon too. I'm pretty stoked about that. Not only that I have 2 fix my own autobiography, so lots of work ahead of me. Well worth the effort though!
Ryan & I will be sleeved up pretty soon. Ms.Dara is giving us a good deal, like, we traded our TV. hahahaha. We got a good deal though. We made out better, in my book. But, she's building her portfolio too. So, we're both makin' out 4 the best. But, yeah look forward to more ink, I know I am.
That's all I got for now..oh yeah! Got 2 see my Melinda Fay this weekend, I don't remember alot of it..lol. BUT I'VE MISSED YA! LOVE YA!

Peace && Love.

GRADUATION ESSAY

((for our graduation, us graduates have to write an essay, and then the entire thing will be read out loud by faculty, while we face the audience. So here's mine. I wanna know, does it reflect who I am or what??))

Attending Chatfield has been a wonderful experience. I appreciated the small campus, and intimate atmosphere. I would like to thank the faculty and staff for making my college experience a memorable, enlightening, challenging, and enjoyable one. I would like to give a special thanks to Pam Spencer and Sue Hamann for recognizing a diamond in the rough, and making me into the writer that I am today. I appreciate your love of the English language. Most of all I am grateful for your guidance and support.
I would like to thank my family for all of their support. Thank you to my parents for all of their loving encouragement. I owe my husband, Ryan a tremendous thank you for all of his love and support. I also want to apologize for all the times I was stressed about school, and took it out on you. Thanks for bearing with me, and sticking it out.
Finally I’d like to say thanks to all of my awesome friends! You all know who you are! Some of you are here, and some are not. I have to say though, without you’re friendship, laughter, and craziness, I may not be here today. I love each and every one of you all for such different reasons. I’m not saying goodbye, just thanks for helping me get past this hurdle in my life, and let’s go on to another.
Audrey Hepburn once said, “A quality education has the power to transform societies in a single generation, provide children with the protection they need from the hazards of poverty, labor exploitation and disease, and given them the knowledge, skills, and confidence to reach their full potential.” So, thanks to everyone at Chatfield College for helping prepare me to move on not only in academia, but in life. Peace, I’m out!