Adjusting To The New.

So, This was my first full week of work.
It Sucked.
And it was amazing.
I love my kids.
But, they have some attitude problems.
Lol.
Anywho, I'm SoOOoo completely exhausted!
My feet are hurting so bad, I've cried for the past 2 days.
So, I'm asking myself--is it worth it?
If I do quit, what will Ryan think?
I can't begin to tell you how aggravated I am with myself and the diabetes curse.
I try hard to be good..check my blood sugar..count my carbs..take shots.
And I get nothing but shit on by my body.
I think I'm dying. lol.
My mom is making me a endocrinologist appointment Monday.
Something has got to change & soon.
I'm not sure what else I can do..
but this whole low to high, high to low, but NEVER right thing has got to stop.
It's taking it's toll on my mind && body.
Whatever.
No more complaining..it could always be worse.
Tomorrow I'm giving myself a "me day."
Doing whatever tickles my fancy.
Whether that means shopping or sleeping all day.
I think I deserve one. =)
I can't wait for school to start.
I'm nervous too though..for some unknown reason.
Just because I'll have a lot on my plate.
For some reason I feel like I'm distancing myself from everyone here lately.
Well, those that I normally spill my guts to.

I normally do not open up to Ryan..

I'm not sure why, I just don't.

But, lately I've been expressing myself to him more.
I'm not sure what the deal is, with me or with anyone.
I guess I'm just trying to be more independent....
Or all my relationships have taken a turn..
Who knows.
That's all I got for now.
I'll Update Soon!
G'night All!