Soul-Searching.

So, I graduate college in about 7 months with an associate's degree in Liberal Arts. Sounds great right? Yeahhh, but where do I go next? What do I want to do? How do I want to go about getting what I want? How do I go about finding what I want out of life? Are you getting the point I'm making? Lol. I don't know what I want. I just know whatever I do I want to enjoy every second of it. I'm seriously not bothered with the money aspect of it. I mean money is nice, but I just want to be happy. Did y'all know I'm a writer? Hah. No? Well I am, and even though my writing is one of my strong qualities, it's so difficult for me. I'd love to write for a living. I'd love to do something off-beat, something I don't feel oppressed by. So here is what is and has been weighing on my mind. I want so many things!! I just don't know where I want to go next. AHHHHHH!!! Help!!
Other news...me & Ryan are doing very very well, as usual. My dgos are as stubborn & spoiled as EVER! But, I love them!!! lol. I wish I could know what the hell they were thinking. We are headed down to Florida tomorrow. My sis is moving to Tennessee, she needs time to go do whatever..enrolll kids in school & daycare, get a place to live, all that adult stuff. So, we're going to take care of her kids for the week! Yay! I miss them something horrible. My plan is to take this time to explore the world of photography. FL is a much more eye-pleasing place than Ohio, don't we all agree? If I like it...I might be a photographer..who knows?!
I'll update about my trip to FL && what excitement that brings when I get back. I'm so glad to be getting away for a while. Getting away from everything!! Ah, I believe it's much needed, to clear my head. Write to you soon! Thanks for all the support!!

((Here is my latest, a profile of myself. Small profile..hope you enjoy it...))

Soul Searching
The lights are dimming and the crowd settling; they're all waiting for the performance. As show time begins to creep closer, the anxiety this girl is feeling intensifies. She thinks of herself as a girl because she doesn't yet know what she wants out of life, or what she has to offer. Others in her life would beg to differ, thinking she is a puzzle beautifully pieced together. She is her own worst critic, and knows this firmly. She is still trying to find her way. She lives for today and only today, so she thinks, even though her future is on her mind constantly.

Her world on the outside seems seamless, but if you look beneath there is uneven stitches and popped buttons. All these problems can be fixed, even though at times she feels like they can't be because there isn't enough time! The big run-way show is about to start! She'll be graduating college in about seven months. Excited is what people think she is, but petrified is what she feels. She has no clue where or what she wants to do next. She has a million ideas, but nothing concrete. She doesn't want to live a boring life, so she thinks more about how she would like to work instead of what she would like to do for work. A free-lance type career is what she is shooting for, just for the unpredictability of it. That could be anything! A writer, photographer, graphic-designer, but is this something she really wants to do for the rest of her life? Just because she doesn't want a hum-drum-nine-to-five life?

Writing and photography are a few of her passions and hobbies. Turning them into a career seems like it would be a slice of bliss, but scares her to death that she'd end up hating the few things she loves to do. It is well known that money is the root of all evil. Maybe that root would turn her blissful career into a nightmare? She often remembers a quote from the great Marilyn Monroe who she truly marvels, "I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful." Happiness is truly what she wants, but money is just as desirable, no matter what people say. Mostly, then the contemplation of what she is good at and what she can make a go-ahead at, boils down to is this- is she good enough? As mentioned before, she is very aware that she is her own worst critic, but this is a dog-eat-dog world. She just wants to know if she'll be the one feasting, or the feast. The uncertainty pains her already too critical mind.

She could survive in this bullish world, whether being the bruiser or the beaten. She has a good sense of who she is, even if she doesn't know what she wants. Her morals and values are there as if engraved in stone for all to read. They will remain whether she becomes a writer or a veterinarian. Her parents and boyfriend show her the utmost support in everything she does. Her parents have said the cliché "you can do anything you want to do!" But, the difference is that they actually believe it! Her boyfriend, while being frustrated with her fickle ways, reassures her every step, "I know you'll be wonderful at whatever you do, I'm just still waiting for you to pick something." This is part of the reason she would make it in this cruel world. Her family and friends to keep her back straight and chin up. They'd be there to spit her own words right back at her, "kiss my ass," just so she wouldn't forget to tell those who need to hear just that.

This girl has the world in her white-knuckled- grip, and refuses to let is slip away. Her name is Mary Daugherty. Watch out, you'll know her one day, for something. For now she has a lot of small stitches, and buttons to fix in the fabric of her life. Her big fashion show starts in seven months. Even through her own hesitation, the show must go on! She'll end it with a bang, and leave you speechless.

((if you liked..GREAT!! most of my stuff is posted on my space, www.myspace.com/goofymaryelizabeth--check it out!!))

Just A Little Something.

So, want an update? Hmm..not much new as of yet. Got the forearm tat done. Not sure when I'll be getting the 2nd part of my sleeve done...not too worried about it at the moment either. I'm trying to decide where I want to go once I graduate Chatfield. Believe me! I'm so ready to get out of there. I need a change of pace or scenery or something. Me && Ryan are wonderful. We're going to visit family in FL the last week of October. Excited about that. My boy needs && deserves a little vacation! That's for sure. I can't really think of anything else to say so good night for now.

I Must Be A Liberal.

So! Long time,eh? Since the last time you decided to read my blog a lot has changed! First, Friday 9/26 I turned 20!! No more teenage years to mess up. So does this mean I'm an adult now? Or was that 18? I'm not sure..nothing feels different, I'm still me. Oh yeahhh..I'm not longer with the knife selling company. For many reasons..I could see how it could work for others, but it wasn't going to work out for me. Although, I'm sold on Cutco knives..I'm officially a customer for life! lol.

Uhmm...soo about college. How many people have given you the excust "I can't afford it." LOL!! Wow, I know right? A lot of people use that lame excuse. You can't afford NOT to go, is my reply to them. It's perfectly ok with me if you don't want to go to college, it's not for everyone ya know? But just say that! I don't want to go! Not come up with a million excuses while you can't go. For every excuse you come up with, I can name 10 reasons to go! Sorry that's my rant about that. I just have been hearing that a lot, and you'd be surprised at what you can & cannot afford.

Other news..I got a new tattoo on Sunday. It was my birthday gift from Ryan. I hear I'm spoiled. Does that automatically make me a horrible brat? Because when I think of spoiled..an image of a bratty girl crying because she didn't get her way pops up in my head. Oh how I hope that's not me...I don't think so though, because I appreciate everything! Anyways, about the new ink I'm rockin'..it's the first sitting of my SLEEVE! Yesss! I have been telling people for a year now..since my last bday that for my 20th bday I was going to start a sleeve. And I did, it all fell into place! =) Oh believe me, I can't wait to finish it. I've taken SOOO much shit from people at school. Which is quite ridiculous if you ask me because I couldn't really care less if they do or do not like it, it's not their body. I've heard some pretty funny things though. "tattoos are so trashy" <---that one was really funny to me because part of my tattoo is leapord print! so mine must really be trashy! LOL!! "I must be a liberal" lol wtf? seriously I am, but how does one know that from a tattoo? "One day you'll be 40..." My reaction to that one? Ok! Ok! I'll tell you..."Yep, I'll be 40 with a sleeve full of flowers && Leapord print, and I'll still look good" muahahhahaaha. Anyways, now, why do you think so many people are offended by tattoos? I'm seriously curious. I can't figure it out. It's not their body..yet it still bothers them. Hm. idk..if you have some input on that I'd surely like to know.

Other than that, on Sunday Ryan && I celebrated our 6 year anniversary. Umm..the fair was fun! We are proud owners of fish now! lol. And we're buying 110 gallon fish tank for the living room. =) I'm not sure, but I think I've got everything..I'll update soon! Enjoy the pics of my tats!!

Just for the record--I am a liberal!! Can't you tell by all my ink? hahahaha

Newest 1. Start of the sleeve--right arm.


On my right thigh...portrait of my mom.


Left shoulder blade...tribute to papaw.


Left wrist. medic alert--diabetic.


Left foot. Irish "hope" symbol. ((my 1st one.))

I'm Oh So Good At Selling Myself!

Soooo...what's different is what you're thinking right?
RIGHT! I totally snagged a job.
It was actually bu accident.
Anyways, I was searching my all time fave website, GOOGLE!
And I found this company called Vector, that actually targets college students as employees!
You can only imagine the excitement I felt, right?
Anywho, I went to their website to check it out.
They actually give $250,000 worth of scholarships to their employees!
At this point I was totally sold.
BUT, I filled out an application.
They called 15 minutes later!
WTF?! I went to an interview that same day!
It was a 2 part process..
I got through both parts, as well as a position with the company.
Now, for what I actually do.
I seel kitchen cutlery.
But, lucky me I get paid whether people buy, or not!
The presentation takes a whole 30-40 minutes & I get paid $15.
So, $15 for a half hour?! lol.
I'm still siked.
I'm not sure though if I'm totally comfortable with going to people's houses, I mean I love love love the product, actually bought some!
So, it's not like I'm not a believer of the stuff.
Actually I strongly recommend it!
It's pretty much amazing.
I'm going to give it 2 weeks.
But, I'm a customer of Cutco cutlery for life!

Uhhhh..I've felt sooooo bad lately!
I'm not sure why.
I got my blood tests back on Thursday.
They all were good!
Wow. I'm super duper proud of myself.
Now for this coming week I'm going to start eating healthy.
My goal is to lose about 15 or more pounds by Christmas.
Speaking of Christmas! I'll be spending it in Tennessee with my family!
Yay!
My sister got a new job, and is moving to TN by December!
I'm SOOOOOOO excited!
My birthday is this coming Friday.
Everyone is talking about it, but it's not too exciting for me to be honest.
This coming Sunday, the 28th is our 6 year anniversary.
Whoa! lol.
And on that topic, everyone says a ring will be given..
I beg to differ.
I'll take that bet, with anyone.
$100 says that it WON'T happen.
If it does I'd be like flabbergasted!
I'll be getting a cover up tattoo on the 28th!
Fuck yeah!
That's it, I'm exhausted.
Night All!
I'll update soon!

Feeling Froggy.

Update..I'm still the same as when I updated the other day. Everything is pretty ok. The weather here in Brown County Ohio is fucked up, today it's windy. Wind up to 45 mph. Which I guess doesn't compare to the hurricane that's happening in FL and whatnot, but still I'm in rural freakin' OHIO and I'm feeling it. Lol. So, due to that all the electricity was out at all the stores, SO I don't have my pictures printed out for my photography class tomorrow. Big uh oh. Hopefully, I can get it done somehow before class tomorrow. Other than that I'm ready for yet another busy week of school.

Other thoughts...OMG! Palin's daughter is pregnant! Did you guys hear that? LOL. I'm sure you have. I have to get this off my chest though, yeah she may be what we consider young, but I'm going to defend this youngster. Let's think about it this way just for a second, bare with me, we are animals. What are animals meant to do? RIIIGHT. Reproduce. So, it's in our nature to use or reproductive system...it's what it's there for. Let's think back oh Idk no less than 100 years, which isn't that long if you really think about it. Girls were married by 12 years old tops. Yeah, only a 100 years ago. It's still in our nature, I mean we as people haven't evolved that much. Remember when you started taking an interest in boys or girls (whatever garden you dig in)? I betcha it was somewhere between 9-14 give or take for the weirdo's of the world. haha. Yeah, so can we really blame this girl? I'm sick of hearing about it honestly. I mean she was doing what her very nature was telling her to do. Now, I'm not trying to say she doesn't have the capacity to know better, or take precautions to ward off pregnancy, but all that is a matter of perception. I mean, c'mon it's really not that uncommon. Which is actually ironic because it's more ironic now than ever to have a "young" parent. I mean, we don't think of it that way, but most people back in the day were married by the time that we graduated HS nowadays. And it's more uncommon for young girls to get pregnant now because is so frowned upon by society. Young pregnancy became a taboo because we have so many more opportunities in the now. Women have no "role" we don't have to get married, sit around and be the bearer of children. So, people want and expect more. So, really does this pregnancy make this young girl such a bad person? Should we really put her through this. And does this situation actually mean that her mother is a bad mother? I don't agree with any of it. I give them props for dealing with the situation at hand, and with all the extra pressure due to the media. I say give the family a damn break.

That's my rant for this evening. If you agree, good we're peachy. If you don't, well really I don't care. I'll update soon!

Filling In The Blanks.

Wow! Almost a month...

My bad people.

But, like I said, this blog is just for me to be able to deal.

Anyways...

Where to begin.

I'm back in school.

Been back for about 3 weeks now.

I'm loving every second of it.

I' was sooo nervous at first because basically all of my friends recently graduated.

But, I've made new ones!

And I didn't even try!

lol.

What can I say? I'm a people person.

I'm taking 5 classes.

Religion would have to be my toughest one thus far.

Photography, which I thought I'd love..

but definitely don't.

I'm not good at it, so of course I'm not going to like it!

Next semester I'm DONE!

Graduated..

But, then right back to more college, at least I'll have a change of scenery.

I've decided to go to Xavier University.

=)

Expensive, I know right?

Oh well, you can't put a price on education.

Oh yeah, I'm also the editor of my school paper.

You might not be smiling about that, but I am.

I wasn't ready for it, but now I think I am.

My dogs are great.

My life is pretty much great.

I have given up on a few family members.

Don't need'em.

I've got people that are good to me.

Ryan && I are amazing.

We've become so so much more close.

Which is so weird, because I never actually thought that was possible.

He's my rock, and I hope he knows how much I love and need him.

I'm trying to see what I've missed in the last month...

All I can think of is that we bought a new TV!

hahaha.

Yeah, a 52" LCD TV.

And We're in love with it.

Ryan has grown into the couch when he is home now.

Which is good, because then I'm not disturbed while doing homework and whatnot.

I haven't been working out.

I'm kind of waiting to see how my schedule goes, and you know smooth it out.

Then I'll get back to the gym.

I swear.

I can get into tip-top shape in 3 weeks.

I'll do it.

Lol.

My birthday is in 16 days.

I'll be the big Two-Oh.

Yeah...

I'm getting a tat for the bday.

I just finished the portrait of my mom on my thigh on Monday night.

Big props to my girl Dara Jo.

Idk what I'd do without that bitch.

I love her to death.

Not just because of her artistic abilities, but because she's all around down-to-earth and pretty much amazing.

I promise I'll be updating more..

For now I'm out of words.

I'm supposed to be doing homework anyway!

bahaha.

Peace out y'all.

Off-The-Wall-I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-Rant.

Soooo...basically I've been letting a few things just fester..and now I'm ready to vent.
Yes, I have friends...yes, I don't come to everything they invite me to, I'm not always there, whatever...
Call me selfish.
No that does not mean I don't care about you, or that I'm not a true friend.
Whoever I befriend means a lot to me.
Ask around, not many people will say, "yeah me & Mary are tight!"
I don't play that game.
I like to keep my friendship and give it to people who deserve it.
So a certain "friend"? of mine had a baby shower today..
I didn't go.
She's upset...yeah I get it.
I didn't really have a good excuse not to go...
But I will tell you what's on my mind when I think about this.
I cannot have my own kids.
It doesn't seem to be in the future for me.
My body isn't stable enough to take care of itself, how'd it support another life?
This is something I've known for years..
But to tell you the truth it didn't matter back then, because I was young, and didn't think that far in the future.
But, now it hurts...
It hurts a lot.
I'd love to be a mom.
Yeah, I'm going to adopt...but that's something I'm never going to experience in my life..
Being a mother to a child that I carried for 9 months...sharing a bond beyond explanation.
So, when I think of baby showers..it kinda breaks my heart?
And I'm not trying to say I'm not happy for anyone who is pregnant.
Because I'm over joyed! I'm so excited for her.
But that also doesn't mean I'm not envious.
Another thing my boyfriend, (who one day be my husband, and the father of my ADOPTED children) works 6 days a week.
6 out of the 7 days of the already too fucking short week.
So Sunday's are "our" days...
Like people have "family" days?? Well Sunday is ours..
A day where he doesn't have to worry about work or stress...
We just get to enjoy each others company, and to focuse on each other, doing whatever tickles our fancy.
And I remember exactly why I love this man with all my heart.
I live for Sundays.
He works 6 out of those 7 days a week for me.
Yeah, he puts me through school, pays my bills, and tries to give me the world.
That's a lot on his plate.
And I'm thankful for all of that, but because he does that I don't get to see much of him.
So on Sunday I fuckin' want to see him for more than 3 hours.
Give me a break.
My life isn't incredibly hard, I'm pretty spoiled..
I know this.
I just hate when people talk shit about things they have no clue about.
You think you know my life?
Guess again.
I think I only have ONE friend who understands my life.
She knows who she is.
She knows what's important, and I'd never get shit from her for "not making time for her"
Because if you're in my life, I've made time for you.
Life is too short.
I live for no one else but me.
I don't care what you think about that statement.
It's the truth.
My decisions are just that, my descisions..
I could make wiser, or nicer ones, but fuck it.
I don't.
If a person is meant to be in your life, they will stay there.
I'll keep my friends close, and yet as far away as I please.
This is my rant.
My life.
My choices.
I know I can't please everyone, so I'm not even going to try.

In other parts of my life...
I'm just so ready to go back to school.
To have some structure back in my life.
I'm trying to get ready for that..
Organizing the house...
Making it easier for when I get home and whatnot.
My dogs are wonderful!
I spent the whole day on Friday with my father.
We had a great time.
It was a much deserved father-daughter day.
Saturday I spent with my mom.
Got my hair cut & dyed.
I'm not longer a dark brown w/ highlights..
I'm a full blown firey red head.
Yeah, I dyed my hair to match my attitude.
hahaha.
Things are pretty good.
Can't really complain.
Good Night.