Kidneys Hurt. Yet Again.

Yep, they do. And this one came on just as fast as the other ones....sucks so bad. They just started hurting today, and I'm already pissing blood. Nice, eh? What is funny 2 me is that the drs. have NO idea why kidney infections come so hard & fast on me. So they just give me stuff to make it stop hurting, which isn't really helping because I know it'll be back in 2-4 weeks. But, it's whatever. We were supposed to go out tonight, and I was freakin' stoked...even bought a cute new outfit..then the kidneys had to take a down fall and so did our plans. But, I'll wait til next weekend, no reason 2 go & get drunk, just to end up in the hospital. I'll wait til my kidneys are on the up-n-up again. But, I must say I'm pretty dissapointed. I'm sure all who were going with us were. So, I'm sorry to them. And they don't know me, or how my kidneys work, so they probably thought I was lieing, but I'm really not. Ask around...my kidneys blow!
I have decided to go to Wilmington College for communication arts. I'm actually really excited about it. I've been thinking about it for a couple months now, I looked at my curriculum...and fell in love. I HAVE to take lots of photography, writing, and webdesign classes. HAVE TO!!! So, that put a big big smile on my face. Speaking of photography, my dad bought me studio lights today. Ya know the big ones with the silver unbrellas. I swear, he is like my biggest fan. He's always pushing for me. I love that about him. I can't wait to start the stories about him for my autobiography. I'm actually getting really excited about it. I'm going to make everyone in my family a copy of it for xmas. I won't tell you the layout, or the stories, but I'm stoookeeddd!!! =)
My husband and I are absolutely wonderful. He's decided to rock a go-tee. I hate facial hair. It absolutely disgusts me. But, I know he'll shave it off eventually...and I can't really say much, I mean he does let me do whatever I want. On Monday I'm dying my hair purple! Woot woot. So. I'm also happy about that.
About the Suicide Girls thing...I've found someone to do my hair & makeup. ANNDD I'm hiring a professional photographer to do my shots to submit. Unless something unexpected deters me, I am going through with this. I'm so happy, let's pray I get it. I mean...my dream...to be a pinup girl! Even if just once in my life. =) You have no idea...
Anyways, I'm off here for now! I love you all! Peace Bitches.

--Mrs. Jordan

Let Me Introduce Myself...

My name is now, Mary Elizabeth Jordan. Ew..still not used to it, still hate it. haha. Mrs. Jordan. Yeah, it's still not good enough. The big day is OVER. I'm kinda upset. I spent months and months planning, and then in a flash, it was gone. And for some reason I don't remember it that well. It was like a whirlwind. Seriously! I only had one tiny break down during my wedding day, which I thought was good! And it wasn't anything bad, just people wanting a piece of me, and I just wanted to have a minute by myself.
I think it went relatively ok. Ryan's groomsmen, Gary & Woody really dissapointed me. I'm so mad. I'm just like done with them. If I never spoke to them again, it would be ok with me. I couldn't imagine someone would get drunk and try to fuck up your day. But, ne ways, that's over & done with. It went ok and I guess that's all I can ask for. But, still they like have me feeling quite betrayed.
I did however, come away with a husband who I love, respect, adore, and cherish. I'm so so so so happy! I love him more today than I ever did. And making him my husband, has brought us so much closer. It's really like a dream. I never thought that we could get any closer. But, when I go to sleep next to him now, it feels even more special.
I also picked up things with one of my old close friends. We're on our way back to being 2 peas in a pod. And I'm so happy. I've missed her so much. I love love love that chick. Another good thing is that Ryan & Mickey got to know each other a lot better, and really hit it off. I love it when Ryan likes my friend's guys..makes things soooooo much easier! lol.
I got a job at my college today. I'm so stoked. I guess I could say that "good things come to those who wait" but that's total bull shit. Good things come to those who go & get it. So, I marched my ass up and got it. hahaha.
I graduate in May. Woot. I still have no clue what I really want to do. Something creative. I keep picturing my life, and I don't want to be tied down to some desk. I want to be who I am, and not have to be someone else at work. I want to do so many things. I want to be a photographer, a designer, a dj (LOL), a yoga instructor, a writer, a mom, a model...etc. etc. So many things. But, nothing that I want to go to school for. The thing is that I am really good at school, I'm really smart, but it doesn't get my blood pumping. But, when I'm working on something that allows me to let my creative side out, now THAT gets my blood pumping. When I can just let loose and be me, I'm in heaven. Maybe, I just realized why I love Ryan so much. Becuase he let's me be exactly who I am, no questions asked. Man, I really do love that boy!
So! Have you heard of the Suicide Girls? Yeah, it's like Playboy for the "alternative girl"...I'm applying. My goal is to have the paperwork submitted by my birthday. So! Watch out! I may be on the website. I'm stoked. I'm actually going to fulfill my dream of being a modern day pinup girl. HAH! Take that bitches! =)
Well, I better get, got lots of homework to do! I'll update soon! Peace bitches!!!

----MRS. JORDAN----

2 weeekkkksssss!!!!

Yes! 2 weeks to go, until our big day.I am under some major, major stress. I'm completely overwhelmed. But, I think I'm not showing it. Which is good. hah.
Umm..it's been a long while since I've updated...well over a month! But, a friend of mine joined, and gave me her URL, and I was like uhh..I have one of those...I bet people are waiting for an update! Oh yeah and a professor of mine, was just telling me how he was reading my blog the other day. So HI MR. STEVE-O!!!! =)

So. I am the complete NONTRADITIONAL bride. My dress is frickin' amazing. Ivory lace, with a black lace train, and leopard print sash. Oh hell yes! lol. My cake topper is a skeleton couple. My bridal party will be dressed in black--so Johnny Cash. I'm getting excited, but I still know how much I have to do....therefore I'm still stressed out. As you all know I'm the queen of procrastination, therefore I really do have a lot to do. I suppose I did it to myself, so only I to blame. Pics asap! Promise.

In other news, I've added to my sleeve. I've got the top, outside part of my arm done. It's a beaufiful Rosie the Riveter. And I love her. Speaking of tattoos..I was hanging at the shop today, which I do most Fridays...help out, and bull shit mostly. But anyways, I was hit on my a black man with a grill...that creeped me out. THEN!!!! Another guy came in, a cousin of a friend. And I honestly have to say I have never in my life been talked to in such a manner. I mean, I don't think a pornstar has been talked to that way. I was severely uncomfortable. I wished my Ryan was there. I stood up for myself of course, but still...I was just absolutely appalled. Yuckkk. Forget guys like that. It makes me happy to have my Ry. To him I'm not just a piece of ass, I'm so much more. Makes me thankful that I've found someone to appreciate me in my entirty, and not just my face, and or body.

Carter our dog ran away, actually he had to be picked up by someone. Stupid bitches. I'm still heartbroken by it. We've got a new puppy though--Floyd. Ohhhh yay! Training ALL OVER AGAIN. No fun. But he is a cutie patootie. He's an American Bull Dog-Pitbull mix. He's going to out grow Case, and fast. ahahahah. Thus, far they have been wonderful with eachother.

I graduate in May. I just recieved stuff from my college about it. Apparently I have to pay a fee & write an essay to graduate. Like I haven't paid or written enough in the 2 years that I've been there. Ugh. pisses me the hell off. Where am I going next? Wellllllll...Wilmington?!?! Idk. I'm thinking about majoring in Communication Arts. I mean I do Love love love to write & to talk. So what the hell could I ask for? Lol. I'm not sure. If I could I'd get a bach. in liberal arts. But what the hell would I do with a degree like that? Ughh..life. It's so stressful.

This summer I am hoping to do some stuff for myself. Culture myself, if you please. Like painting classes! photography classes! writing workshops! and Piano lessons!! Maybe not all, but atleast one! I'm excited. I also thought about going to school to do hair...just because. Not that I would want to do that as a full time job. But, I think it'd be super fun. Ah who knows.

I'm just livin' one day at a time.
Updates soon...promise.

Peace && Love.

How Long Has It Been??

Happy New Year everyone! Wow. It's been a couple of minutes since I've jotted some stuff for you guys. Well, I'm into my last semester at Chatfield. These classes I'm taking seem like they're going to really challenge me. All of them. That's the first time that's ever happened to me while attending Chatfield. And I'm glad I did. Now I'll feel like I've EARNED my degree from there. Ah! I'm in autobiography...so I'll be writing my life story! Woo hoo. My mom is happy. haha.

Did you know??! Ryan & I are getting married. Yeah, less than 2 months. March 14, 2009. I asked him. But, if you want to read more on that visit our wedding website. That is already taking up too much of my time, so I refuse to write about it on my personal venting time!

http://www.momentville.com/R-M

What else is new? Hmmm..I've started working out. It's been about 3 weeks ago...I feel so much better. I run 4 miles 5 times a week, I also do strength training 3 times a week, and circut training once. Let's just say I'm at the gym daily. For a good cause though. I haven't lost any numbers on that damn scale yet though, but I do feel better. So I tell the scale to screw off. ahhaha.

My sister & her family have moved to Mississippi. It's only about 6 hours away, instead of 12. Yay! We are taking a quick weekend trip. We're leaving tonight. I'm so excited to see my family.

Other than school and wedding planning, I don't have a lot of extra time.
This is all I have for now.
I'll update soon! PROMISE!!!

I've Come To Realize...

It's been a while since I've posted anything. But, in that time I've figured out a lot of stuff!!
First of all, and most importantly, I asked Ryan to marry me! Y'all know how I am, I can't wait, I'm so impatient. When I know what I want I get it!! Therefore, I asked him! And of course he said yes! =) March 14th is the big day. Thus far we've had nothing but love and support about it. So in about 5 months I'll be Mrs. Mary Jordan. Wooo hoooo!!
Secondly, I'm going to be transferring to Xavier University after I graduate from Chatfield. I'm going to be studying to be an Radiology Technician! Then I would really like to continue studying to be a radiologist. But, we all know HOW much time & money that takes! I'm not too sure about that. I may just be a radiology tech & do some other stuff part-time as well. I'll be getting 2 degrees from XU, the radiology tech, and my BA in Liberal Arts.
My nerve damage from diabetes has gotten so much worse. I've had to be put on some medicine for it. I hate that. That's another reasoning for my apprehension to go on to be a radiologist. I may only be able to work part-time. I got a job, I worked 3 days, 6 hour shifts. On day 4 I couldn't even get out of bed, I literally couldn't walk--that's how bad my feet hurt. No need to say it, but I had to quit. So, now I'm eating healthier, taking my meds, and vitamins. I'm trying really hard to make it stay the same. Nerve damage is not reversable...so it's sad to say that it may just stay this bad for a while. I'm working on being a better diabetic! For me, for my family && friends, and my future family && career.
I've been working my ass off at school! I'm going to be a member of Phi Theta Kappa, which is an international honor society, and if I keep my grades up I'll also be a member of the Julia Chatfield Honor Society (which is the honor soceity for my college). I've registered classes for my final semester at Chatfield, I'm taking 5!
1). Children Of The Holocaust.
2). Autobiography.
3) Personal Economics.
4). Human Bio.
5). Intro To Sociology.

So, that's an update on my life for now...
I hope people realize that I'm not lazy. I know I don't work, I know Ryan "takes care of me". But, I work my ass of in school, so that one day I'll support him! I wish people knew how much I really did in a day. I'm not lazy, I'm not a quitter.

I'll update soon!

Soul-Searching.

So, I graduate college in about 7 months with an associate's degree in Liberal Arts. Sounds great right? Yeahhh, but where do I go next? What do I want to do? How do I want to go about getting what I want? How do I go about finding what I want out of life? Are you getting the point I'm making? Lol. I don't know what I want. I just know whatever I do I want to enjoy every second of it. I'm seriously not bothered with the money aspect of it. I mean money is nice, but I just want to be happy. Did y'all know I'm a writer? Hah. No? Well I am, and even though my writing is one of my strong qualities, it's so difficult for me. I'd love to write for a living. I'd love to do something off-beat, something I don't feel oppressed by. So here is what is and has been weighing on my mind. I want so many things!! I just don't know where I want to go next. AHHHHHH!!! Help!!
Other news...me & Ryan are doing very very well, as usual. My dgos are as stubborn & spoiled as EVER! But, I love them!!! lol. I wish I could know what the hell they were thinking. We are headed down to Florida tomorrow. My sis is moving to Tennessee, she needs time to go do whatever..enrolll kids in school & daycare, get a place to live, all that adult stuff. So, we're going to take care of her kids for the week! Yay! I miss them something horrible. My plan is to take this time to explore the world of photography. FL is a much more eye-pleasing place than Ohio, don't we all agree? If I like it...I might be a photographer..who knows?!
I'll update about my trip to FL && what excitement that brings when I get back. I'm so glad to be getting away for a while. Getting away from everything!! Ah, I believe it's much needed, to clear my head. Write to you soon! Thanks for all the support!!

((Here is my latest, a profile of myself. Small profile..hope you enjoy it...))

Soul Searching
The lights are dimming and the crowd settling; they're all waiting for the performance. As show time begins to creep closer, the anxiety this girl is feeling intensifies. She thinks of herself as a girl because she doesn't yet know what she wants out of life, or what she has to offer. Others in her life would beg to differ, thinking she is a puzzle beautifully pieced together. She is her own worst critic, and knows this firmly. She is still trying to find her way. She lives for today and only today, so she thinks, even though her future is on her mind constantly.

Her world on the outside seems seamless, but if you look beneath there is uneven stitches and popped buttons. All these problems can be fixed, even though at times she feels like they can't be because there isn't enough time! The big run-way show is about to start! She'll be graduating college in about seven months. Excited is what people think she is, but petrified is what she feels. She has no clue where or what she wants to do next. She has a million ideas, but nothing concrete. She doesn't want to live a boring life, so she thinks more about how she would like to work instead of what she would like to do for work. A free-lance type career is what she is shooting for, just for the unpredictability of it. That could be anything! A writer, photographer, graphic-designer, but is this something she really wants to do for the rest of her life? Just because she doesn't want a hum-drum-nine-to-five life?

Writing and photography are a few of her passions and hobbies. Turning them into a career seems like it would be a slice of bliss, but scares her to death that she'd end up hating the few things she loves to do. It is well known that money is the root of all evil. Maybe that root would turn her blissful career into a nightmare? She often remembers a quote from the great Marilyn Monroe who she truly marvels, "I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful." Happiness is truly what she wants, but money is just as desirable, no matter what people say. Mostly, then the contemplation of what she is good at and what she can make a go-ahead at, boils down to is this- is she good enough? As mentioned before, she is very aware that she is her own worst critic, but this is a dog-eat-dog world. She just wants to know if she'll be the one feasting, or the feast. The uncertainty pains her already too critical mind.

She could survive in this bullish world, whether being the bruiser or the beaten. She has a good sense of who she is, even if she doesn't know what she wants. Her morals and values are there as if engraved in stone for all to read. They will remain whether she becomes a writer or a veterinarian. Her parents and boyfriend show her the utmost support in everything she does. Her parents have said the cliché "you can do anything you want to do!" But, the difference is that they actually believe it! Her boyfriend, while being frustrated with her fickle ways, reassures her every step, "I know you'll be wonderful at whatever you do, I'm just still waiting for you to pick something." This is part of the reason she would make it in this cruel world. Her family and friends to keep her back straight and chin up. They'd be there to spit her own words right back at her, "kiss my ass," just so she wouldn't forget to tell those who need to hear just that.

This girl has the world in her white-knuckled- grip, and refuses to let is slip away. Her name is Mary Daugherty. Watch out, you'll know her one day, for something. For now she has a lot of small stitches, and buttons to fix in the fabric of her life. Her big fashion show starts in seven months. Even through her own hesitation, the show must go on! She'll end it with a bang, and leave you speechless.

((if you liked..GREAT!! most of my stuff is posted on my space, www.myspace.com/goofymaryelizabeth--check it out!!))

Just A Little Something.

So, want an update? Hmm..not much new as of yet. Got the forearm tat done. Not sure when I'll be getting the 2nd part of my sleeve done...not too worried about it at the moment either. I'm trying to decide where I want to go once I graduate Chatfield. Believe me! I'm so ready to get out of there. I need a change of pace or scenery or something. Me && Ryan are wonderful. We're going to visit family in FL the last week of October. Excited about that. My boy needs && deserves a little vacation! That's for sure. I can't really think of anything else to say so good night for now.