Long Day, More To Come.

So, today I had my first FULL day of work. And there's no end in sight. Hahaha.

Working with 18month-3yr old is completely exhausting.

But, I love it because everyday is different.

I'd never want to have 8 toddlers who are all trying to potty train.

They have their good days & their bad.

Today they all had bad ones.

But it's ok, because when they left they were all in smiles..

That makes me happy.

Ry has a job interview tomorrow.

I'm kinda anxious.

He says he wants a new job, but I know once he loses the freedom he has @ Greiner he won't be happy.

But, who am I to say anything?

I just go along with what he wants to do.

We still cannot find a car to buy that we agree on.

This is becoming a tremendous hurdle for us.

I'm to the point where I don't even care anymore.

I worked all day today then I came home to clean ALL night!

My house is completely spotless.

My feet & back are killing me, but I feel....

What's the word I'm looking for?

Productive?

Accomplished?

NORMAL!?

I'm not sure..

All I do know is that yes, I am exhausted, but I'm very happy.

Tomorrow I'm headed to the gym @ 7 and then to work from 12-6.

I can't wait for this weekend..

I'm totally rearranging this house.

It needs some order to it.

I have to get it all done before I start school.

I'm really weird when I'm in school mode.

My house must be spotless before I can concentrate on schoolwork.

Prof. Pam Spencer says its my "womanly nature" kicking in.

I say it's annoying.

So I figured if I organize now, when the time comes it won't be so hard to keep it that way.

I mean c'mon, working full time & going to school MORE than full-time is a hell of a schedule.

But, I'm looking forward to it.

That's all I got for now.

I'm keeping my head up, and walking the straight and narrow.

I'll update soon.

G'night All!

Wow. It's Been A While.

It has been SO long since I've updated this thing, and I apologize!

Let's get reacquainted, I'm Mary...

Last time you spoke to me, I needed a job severely & wanted to sell my house.

All that has changed now.

I have a job!!!

wooot wooot.

I work @ Wonderful Beginnings Daycare, in Mt. Orab.

I'm a toddler teacher for now!

Next month I move to the infants.

That'll suit me better, I mean, I'm not good at deciphering baby talk.

hahaha.

I like it very much so far.

The kids are great, every day is something different!

And that is exactly why I love it so much.

Another reason why I like it there so much, is that I don't have to try and be something that I'm not!
I'm allowed to wear what I want, I don't have to cover my tattoos..

I could dye my hair purple & no one would say anything negative.

It's just a good feeling knowing that someone doesn't pass judgement for stupid things like that, things that just show who I really am.

I no longer want to sell my house, hahah.

We're doing some remodeling starting in a few weeks.

I'm super stoked about that.

I like my house...I just hate where it is.

I chopped ALL my hair off!!

But, when I think about it, it's not as short as I thought it was going to be.

Which is kinda disappointing...lol.

I've got nothing by rave reviews about it though.

I'm getting back to my pretty self!

There for a while I was totally in a rut or something.

I did find & join a gym!

Give me about 2 more weeks and I'll be thin again.

Which in honesty being skinny wasn't the main reason for going..

it was that I just didn't feel good.

I'm really trying with the blood sugar thing...

And yet, I'm still failing.

Or feel like I'm failing.

I know I'm supposed to take baby steps with it...

I just feel like why should I make the effort if it's not going to work.

But, I haven't given up.

Me & Ryan are amaaaazing.

I love that kid with all my heart.

We're really good..

We seem to be more in sync now than ever!

I went to the John Mellencamp concert last night!
Girls night yahhhhh!

I had a lot of fun.

I was severely disappointed that he didn't play more old tunes,

but I'm sure he's like bored to death of them...

I can understand that.

I did have a good time though.

I start school on August 25th!

Wow.

I'm so not ready.

I'm extremely nervous because I'm taking SO many classes..

I shouldn't be, and I know I'll probably be ok.

I just don't want to fail, or have a mental breakdown because of work & school...

blah.

I've totally been neglecting my garden/flowers.

But, Sunday I've made a date with them.

I'm going to make up for lost time.

hahaha.

I've realized I've matured very much since moving out on my own.

I'm loving it.

Although, I don't see much of my friends, because they haven't gotten to my point yet...

That kinda sucks.

Then the friends who have matured..have wayy bigger things going on in their lifes than I do.

Like husbands & children.

Mine will all work out...

One day..

Hopefully.

Other than that I'm doing wonderful!

I'm super happy with the way my life is going.

No complaints!

All smiles!

I'll update soon!

I PROMISE!

G'night All!

Nothing Much To Say.

OK, so I haven't wrote in soooo long! Sorry! I haven't really had much to say lately. Nothing new has come up for me to talk about, haha. My life is crazy boring right?

I have decided to cut my hair off && get highlights though. Give me about 2 weeks. I'm still not completely sold out to the short short hair. Kinda scared. I know it grows back, but I don't want to look like a boy! I still haven't found a gym that I'd like to go to, which is really getting on my nerves. And I still haven't found a job. Ugh. Let's not even start on that!

My mom && dad took the girls down to Tennessee to meet their mom. I miss them sooo much, it's crazy. They've only been gone for one day now, not even a full day! I walked into my mom's house this morning and was totally expecting to see my little Hayley Jo sitting on the couch watching tv. I miss them so much. I'd give anything for them to live closer.

So, while my mom took them down there, I went to her work to help out. Answer phones and what not. Needless to say it was the worst day ever. Idk. You have to know these people. They act like they own you, and you aren't shit to them. Well I did fix their computer system && without me they wouldn't have gotten that done until who knows when. I don't even want to talk about it, it just pisses me off. hah.

Hmm..we're still wanting to sell our house..Thank goodness! We've been looking at TK Homes to build one for us. I have it narrowed down to 3 that I like =) I'm not sure if I want a ranch style or 2-story.

I haven't been able to sleep at all lately. I'm completely drained, but my mind won't just take a break, it runs on with a million different things. I don't know what it is. I just can't stop thinking, and put my mind at ease.

Anywho, I suppose I'll update when I have something actually interesting to say && worth writing about!

Good Night All!

Sleepy Sunday.

I slept all day!

Seriously, Ry woke me up at about 10, I went back to sleep at 12ish until 3pm!

Ry went to work and to mow his mom's grass, my blood sugar was extremely high all day! So, I just slept because it was better than feeling horrible. Then when Ry got here I got a shower and we headed to Eastgate. We ate dinner at Long Horn! My favoorrite! I love it.

So we've decided to put our house on the market this fall. This summer is being dedicated to fixing the house up to make more money off of it. We're going to do everything as cheaply as possible, which kinda sounds horrible, but the way I see it is, atleast we are putting money into it. We're so not happy here. We're way to close to the road! The house is too small. Let's just hope that this place sells! And quick at that! I could only hope! I think we're going to use Bert Thomas to sell it. Her motto is--"No matter what the house looks like, there is a person that's looking for just that." She's right though, I hope. We were dumb enough to buy it right? ahahahha. If we make enough money, we are just going to buy a piece of land with the profit, then work our asses off to save money to build our own home. I only hope it works out that way.

I have to make about 4 doctors apppointments tomorrow. I hate the doctors, I mean I don't know anyone who actually likes them, but you know. I'm also going "gym" shopping tomorrow! I'm determined to get healthy. I need to, I feel soo bad these days. I can't wait to get fit again. I'd looove to be 110 pounds again. 19 pounds? You think I can lose that? I hope so. Shit, let's make it an even 20. haha.

So, basically, I'm going to be working my ass off this summer to be able to sell the house, as quick as possible this fall, to get healthy & lose weight, and hopefully working. Yeah, I still don't have a job. It's REALLY starting to irritate me now. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. But, I'm doing pretty damn good. I can't really complain!

I'll update soon!

Good night all!

A Day Well Spent.

That's right!

I got to spend a WHOLE day with my love! And it wasn't even Sunday! haha.

He works SOOO much. He had a dr. appt. today, so we went to that & he decided to take a day for himself. He spoiled himself, lol. He got new gym shoes & we ate out twice. That was sooo not my style, but what can I say? My boy loves pizza! We drove all the way out to the amish country, about 45min-1hr away to get him 2 new pairs of boots, and guess what! The boot store was closed. Haha, if we didn't have bad luck, we'd have no luck at all. I didn't mind though, because it was a pretty drive & quality time spent together.

We've decided to buy a Jeep Wrangler. =) I'm so excited. It's my dad's but thats why we are buying it. We've been looking for a gas saver, and at least with this one we KNOW it's been treated right. My dad babys all of his cars. You know what that means, I'll be driving with the top & doors off! Hells yeah!

Another good note, we're definitely taking a little vaycay before I start back to school in August. I'm going to be sooooo busy! We went to my school today to sign up for my fall classes. I'm taking 20 credit hours. Just so that you know, 12 is considered full-time. So, it's very safe to say that I'm going to veryyy busy. I'm also thinking about taking some medical coding classes and/or starting online classes working toward my BA degree. OH YEAH! I've decided what I want to do! I'm totally going to get a degree in Holistic Nutrition and/or Gerontology (most likely a major/minor so I can do both). I want to become a dietician. I want to help people make them selves healthy! I've also talked Ry into starting college classes in the fall. Or atleast I think I have. At my college, Chatfield. He liked the campus today, sadly enough it's the first time he's actually been there. It seems crazy to me because I spend SO much time there. He'd be going for a AS in business.

We spent a lot of time with Hayley Jo today. We picked her up about 1pm. She spent the whole day with us. We went out to the horse barn after dinner. Ry is getting really fond of the horses. I'm thinking we may get one soon. Melody Ann missed me so much. Kayla is scaring me with the horses, she's 10. She's NEVER been around horses, and she acts like she's been around them her whole life. I wouldn't care so much, but ya know her mother isn't up here, and health insurance can be tricky. If she were to get hurt, who's to say she'd get the proper treatment. Can her grandma actually give consent to treat? You see what I'm saying. Kids don't think that way though, so I had to have a chit-chat with her, and tell my mom to do the same. She's getting too brave. I don't want to see her get hurt. The horses are about 6 times her size or better!

I had a dream last night that Ry proposed to me, and gave me 3 weeks to plan the wedding. Hilarious right? So I found out one of my friends is now pregnant. I know I should be happy for her...and I am. But, I'm also irritated. I'm thinking maybe I should just adopt. Ya know Steel Magnolia? I don't want to be that girl. I want to see my kids grow up, if I adopt, it wouldn't be as hard on my kidneys. I'm not sure. I'm just...well I'm feeling like children are never going to be an option for me. And I wonder what Ry thinks of that?

My life is looking up it seems. I still need to get a job though, haha.

I'm going to be just fine though!

I'll update soon!

Good Night All!

Humdrum Tuesday.

That's right, today was down-right dull. I did, however, get the front porch painted. Now, all there is left to do is fix the steps & decorate it. The front of our house is so plain. There is nothing on our front porch except a gray rug & 2 planters. So, if any of you have any good ideas on some inexpensive ways to decorate or perk up a small porch, let me know! I also got my sunflower garden planted today. I'm also thinking about doing a water garden..I saw it on Martha Stewart today..haha. I don't know why I watch her show, I absolutely cannot stand the woman, but I must admit, she's good at what she does.
In other areas of my life, Ry wants a new truck. It makes me feel bad, he works his ass off, I just want him to be able to have what he wants. But, first I need to find a job. The lady didn't call today..I'm really upset..I'd really like to have that job. CASA which was another good opportunity blew up in flames as well. They already hired someone by the time I had got there with my resume on Monday.
I also got to see my nieces again today. I'm going to miss them so much when they head back to Florida. I feel like I don't have near the same relationship that I had with them when they lived up here. It breaks my heart. But, my sister chose that life...so if it makes her happy, it does me as well. I feel the same about my nephew, Xavier. I was going to bring him up with me, but he's only 2 and he's very attached to his mom. 3 weeks is a long time to be away from a parent. This will give him time to be mommy's one and only. It's driving her crazy to be without her kids..haha..but I'm lovin' every minute of it. I love those girls! Back to X...he didn't even know who I was when I went to pick up the girls. It made my hear ache..I almost shed a few tears...for real. I can't even explain how it feels to love someone so much, and them not know who the hell you are. I feel the same when I call to talk to Mikayla & Hayley..there is always that awkward silence...like umm..what do I say now? I know they love me, and they know I love them, it's just so hard to relate, I have no clue what's going on in their lives down there. But, while they are up here, I'm taking full advantage.
I'm trying to fix up the house a little bit. Ugh. The more days that past by, the more I hate my house. It's way to close to the road, it's wayyy too small, it sits at a weird angle on our lot..etc.etc. I know it's only our first house but still, we settled! I'm so pissed at myself for settling. When I think of my house, I think..shit. haha. No for real. I don't even care if no one comes to our house, they'd probably be mortified. I'm trying my best to make it our own though...that's the thing though! I'd rather put money into our house than anything else! It's ok though because I quite like doing little things around the house. It always comes back to bite me in the ass though, like today while painting the porch..my hands hurt SO bad. I was fighting tears. Oh yeah, I have nerve damage from diabetes. It sucks. But I make it alright. I never feel different until I go to do something "normal" and can't succeed.
Oh yeah! Speaking of diabetes, my toe is infected. Ugh. It hurts extremely bad. I'm on antibiotics though. I'm hoping everything will be ok. I'd hate to only have 9 toes, I already fall a lot, I'd hate to see what I'd be like with one less toe to balance on. haha. I cut my toe nail "wrong" and it got infected. Isn't that some crazy stuff? Yeah. I know. Diabetes sucks, but I'd rather it be me than you any day.
Well, I'm not sure what's in store for tomorrow..
We'll see!
Good night all!

Nothing But Hard Work.

So, today was supposed to be all about fixing the yard.

I must say it was pretty productive, considering the rain. We planted a new tree, a "honeylocust". I'm not so in the know when it comes to trees, so if you know anything about this particular tree, please share the wealth. Anways, it's supposed to put off a lot of shade, and is fast growing. I also planted a lot more flowers. I didn't get as much work done in the garden as I would have liked to, but I'm working on it. I have a lot more work to do tomorrow, I'm praying the rain stays away. I have to watch my niece Hayley Jo tomorrow as well. I'm so putting her to work! haha.

And, I just have to note that gardening is very expensive. But, for some reason, I can't stop. haha. It seems cliche, but seriously when tending to my plants & flowers, I feel so at peace. It relaxes me incredibly. I love it.

I sprinkled my garden with Sevin Dust today, and immediatley it took me back to being in my papaw's huge garden. I remember the smell of that stuff like I was just sneaking in his garden to find that perfect tomato yesterday! While spreading the white powder from plant ot plant, I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way while in his garden, like nothing else is going on in the world, this moment is the most important, and there is nothing else I could be doing with half as much importance. I think that's why I love to garden so much. Because he did and it brings me that much closer to him, and keeps his memory vivid. I hope I'm doing him proud. I know I have a lot to learn when it comes to gardening, but I'm willing to learn. (I'll be posting pics soon, don't worry!)

In other parts of my life, I'm supposed to be hearing about a job tomorrow or Tuesday. Let's only hope it's tomorrow! The sooner the better right? Ryan has been being very protective the past couple of days. It's kinda odd, because he's usually such a "whatever" kind of guy. But, he wouldn't let me take a simple trip to Wal-Mart last night..wait, I'm not saying he WOULDNT let me, but I could tell he really didn't want me to go alone. He told me that a million times, but I could tell by his eyes he really didn't like the idea of me driving to Eastgate so late, and by myself, so I didn't go. He also doesn't want me to go to Fairfield on Tuesday for a "job interview"...if you only knew the weird and shady story behind that you'd probably understand why. I don't even want to go, there's something fishy going on there. I'll be dropping a resume off at CASA tomorrow, that would be an exciting job, I couldn't ask for somewhere better to work! It's something I'm really passionate about, helping kids I mean. Let's hope for that to pan out. I sold the amp out of my car today, haha..yeahhh..a little extra cash. =) I'm still debating on whether or not to chop my hair off, I'm just not sure.

My life is pretty lame & ordinary, but it's mine..and I love it.
I'll update tomorrow.
Good night all!