I Must Be A Liberal.

So! Long time,eh? Since the last time you decided to read my blog a lot has changed! First, Friday 9/26 I turned 20!! No more teenage years to mess up. So does this mean I'm an adult now? Or was that 18? I'm not sure..nothing feels different, I'm still me. Oh yeahhh..I'm not longer with the knife selling company. For many reasons..I could see how it could work for others, but it wasn't going to work out for me. Although, I'm sold on Cutco knives..I'm officially a customer for life! lol.

Uhmm...soo about college. How many people have given you the excust "I can't afford it." LOL!! Wow, I know right? A lot of people use that lame excuse. You can't afford NOT to go, is my reply to them. It's perfectly ok with me if you don't want to go to college, it's not for everyone ya know? But just say that! I don't want to go! Not come up with a million excuses while you can't go. For every excuse you come up with, I can name 10 reasons to go! Sorry that's my rant about that. I just have been hearing that a lot, and you'd be surprised at what you can & cannot afford.

Other news..I got a new tattoo on Sunday. It was my birthday gift from Ryan. I hear I'm spoiled. Does that automatically make me a horrible brat? Because when I think of spoiled..an image of a bratty girl crying because she didn't get her way pops up in my head. Oh how I hope that's not me...I don't think so though, because I appreciate everything! Anyways, about the new ink I'm rockin'..it's the first sitting of my SLEEVE! Yesss! I have been telling people for a year now..since my last bday that for my 20th bday I was going to start a sleeve. And I did, it all fell into place! =) Oh believe me, I can't wait to finish it. I've taken SOOO much shit from people at school. Which is quite ridiculous if you ask me because I couldn't really care less if they do or do not like it, it's not their body. I've heard some pretty funny things though. "tattoos are so trashy" <---that one was really funny to me because part of my tattoo is leapord print! so mine must really be trashy! LOL!! "I must be a liberal" lol wtf? seriously I am, but how does one know that from a tattoo? "One day you'll be 40..." My reaction to that one? Ok! Ok! I'll tell you..."Yep, I'll be 40 with a sleeve full of flowers && Leapord print, and I'll still look good" muahahhahaaha. Anyways, now, why do you think so many people are offended by tattoos? I'm seriously curious. I can't figure it out. It's not their body..yet it still bothers them. Hm. idk..if you have some input on that I'd surely like to know.

Other than that, on Sunday Ryan && I celebrated our 6 year anniversary. Umm..the fair was fun! We are proud owners of fish now! lol. And we're buying 110 gallon fish tank for the living room. =) I'm not sure, but I think I've got everything..I'll update soon! Enjoy the pics of my tats!!

Just for the record--I am a liberal!! Can't you tell by all my ink? hahahaha

Newest 1. Start of the sleeve--right arm.


On my right thigh...portrait of my mom.


Left shoulder blade...tribute to papaw.


Left wrist. medic alert--diabetic.


Left foot. Irish "hope" symbol. ((my 1st one.))

I'm Oh So Good At Selling Myself!

Soooo...what's different is what you're thinking right?
RIGHT! I totally snagged a job.
It was actually bu accident.
Anyways, I was searching my all time fave website, GOOGLE!
And I found this company called Vector, that actually targets college students as employees!
You can only imagine the excitement I felt, right?
Anywho, I went to their website to check it out.
They actually give $250,000 worth of scholarships to their employees!
At this point I was totally sold.
BUT, I filled out an application.
They called 15 minutes later!
WTF?! I went to an interview that same day!
It was a 2 part process..
I got through both parts, as well as a position with the company.
Now, for what I actually do.
I seel kitchen cutlery.
But, lucky me I get paid whether people buy, or not!
The presentation takes a whole 30-40 minutes & I get paid $15.
So, $15 for a half hour?! lol.
I'm still siked.
I'm not sure though if I'm totally comfortable with going to people's houses, I mean I love love love the product, actually bought some!
So, it's not like I'm not a believer of the stuff.
Actually I strongly recommend it!
It's pretty much amazing.
I'm going to give it 2 weeks.
But, I'm a customer of Cutco cutlery for life!

Uhhhh..I've felt sooooo bad lately!
I'm not sure why.
I got my blood tests back on Thursday.
They all were good!
Wow. I'm super duper proud of myself.
Now for this coming week I'm going to start eating healthy.
My goal is to lose about 15 or more pounds by Christmas.
Speaking of Christmas! I'll be spending it in Tennessee with my family!
Yay!
My sister got a new job, and is moving to TN by December!
I'm SOOOOOOO excited!
My birthday is this coming Friday.
Everyone is talking about it, but it's not too exciting for me to be honest.
This coming Sunday, the 28th is our 6 year anniversary.
Whoa! lol.
And on that topic, everyone says a ring will be given..
I beg to differ.
I'll take that bet, with anyone.
$100 says that it WON'T happen.
If it does I'd be like flabbergasted!
I'll be getting a cover up tattoo on the 28th!
Fuck yeah!
That's it, I'm exhausted.
Night All!
I'll update soon!

Feeling Froggy.

Update..I'm still the same as when I updated the other day. Everything is pretty ok. The weather here in Brown County Ohio is fucked up, today it's windy. Wind up to 45 mph. Which I guess doesn't compare to the hurricane that's happening in FL and whatnot, but still I'm in rural freakin' OHIO and I'm feeling it. Lol. So, due to that all the electricity was out at all the stores, SO I don't have my pictures printed out for my photography class tomorrow. Big uh oh. Hopefully, I can get it done somehow before class tomorrow. Other than that I'm ready for yet another busy week of school.

Other thoughts...OMG! Palin's daughter is pregnant! Did you guys hear that? LOL. I'm sure you have. I have to get this off my chest though, yeah she may be what we consider young, but I'm going to defend this youngster. Let's think about it this way just for a second, bare with me, we are animals. What are animals meant to do? RIIIGHT. Reproduce. So, it's in our nature to use or reproductive system...it's what it's there for. Let's think back oh Idk no less than 100 years, which isn't that long if you really think about it. Girls were married by 12 years old tops. Yeah, only a 100 years ago. It's still in our nature, I mean we as people haven't evolved that much. Remember when you started taking an interest in boys or girls (whatever garden you dig in)? I betcha it was somewhere between 9-14 give or take for the weirdo's of the world. haha. Yeah, so can we really blame this girl? I'm sick of hearing about it honestly. I mean she was doing what her very nature was telling her to do. Now, I'm not trying to say she doesn't have the capacity to know better, or take precautions to ward off pregnancy, but all that is a matter of perception. I mean, c'mon it's really not that uncommon. Which is actually ironic because it's more ironic now than ever to have a "young" parent. I mean, we don't think of it that way, but most people back in the day were married by the time that we graduated HS nowadays. And it's more uncommon for young girls to get pregnant now because is so frowned upon by society. Young pregnancy became a taboo because we have so many more opportunities in the now. Women have no "role" we don't have to get married, sit around and be the bearer of children. So, people want and expect more. So, really does this pregnancy make this young girl such a bad person? Should we really put her through this. And does this situation actually mean that her mother is a bad mother? I don't agree with any of it. I give them props for dealing with the situation at hand, and with all the extra pressure due to the media. I say give the family a damn break.

That's my rant for this evening. If you agree, good we're peachy. If you don't, well really I don't care. I'll update soon!

Filling In The Blanks.

Wow! Almost a month...

My bad people.

But, like I said, this blog is just for me to be able to deal.

Anyways...

Where to begin.

I'm back in school.

Been back for about 3 weeks now.

I'm loving every second of it.

I' was sooo nervous at first because basically all of my friends recently graduated.

But, I've made new ones!

And I didn't even try!

lol.

What can I say? I'm a people person.

I'm taking 5 classes.

Religion would have to be my toughest one thus far.

Photography, which I thought I'd love..

but definitely don't.

I'm not good at it, so of course I'm not going to like it!

Next semester I'm DONE!

Graduated..

But, then right back to more college, at least I'll have a change of scenery.

I've decided to go to Xavier University.

=)

Expensive, I know right?

Oh well, you can't put a price on education.

Oh yeah, I'm also the editor of my school paper.

You might not be smiling about that, but I am.

I wasn't ready for it, but now I think I am.

My dogs are great.

My life is pretty much great.

I have given up on a few family members.

Don't need'em.

I've got people that are good to me.

Ryan && I are amazing.

We've become so so much more close.

Which is so weird, because I never actually thought that was possible.

He's my rock, and I hope he knows how much I love and need him.

I'm trying to see what I've missed in the last month...

All I can think of is that we bought a new TV!

hahaha.

Yeah, a 52" LCD TV.

And We're in love with it.

Ryan has grown into the couch when he is home now.

Which is good, because then I'm not disturbed while doing homework and whatnot.

I haven't been working out.

I'm kind of waiting to see how my schedule goes, and you know smooth it out.

Then I'll get back to the gym.

I swear.

I can get into tip-top shape in 3 weeks.

I'll do it.

Lol.

My birthday is in 16 days.

I'll be the big Two-Oh.

Yeah...

I'm getting a tat for the bday.

I just finished the portrait of my mom on my thigh on Monday night.

Big props to my girl Dara Jo.

Idk what I'd do without that bitch.

I love her to death.

Not just because of her artistic abilities, but because she's all around down-to-earth and pretty much amazing.

I promise I'll be updating more..

For now I'm out of words.

I'm supposed to be doing homework anyway!

bahaha.

Peace out y'all.

Off-The-Wall-I-Don't-Give-A-Crap-Rant.

Soooo...basically I've been letting a few things just fester..and now I'm ready to vent.
Yes, I have friends...yes, I don't come to everything they invite me to, I'm not always there, whatever...
Call me selfish.
No that does not mean I don't care about you, or that I'm not a true friend.
Whoever I befriend means a lot to me.
Ask around, not many people will say, "yeah me & Mary are tight!"
I don't play that game.
I like to keep my friendship and give it to people who deserve it.
So a certain "friend"? of mine had a baby shower today..
I didn't go.
She's upset...yeah I get it.
I didn't really have a good excuse not to go...
But I will tell you what's on my mind when I think about this.
I cannot have my own kids.
It doesn't seem to be in the future for me.
My body isn't stable enough to take care of itself, how'd it support another life?
This is something I've known for years..
But to tell you the truth it didn't matter back then, because I was young, and didn't think that far in the future.
But, now it hurts...
It hurts a lot.
I'd love to be a mom.
Yeah, I'm going to adopt...but that's something I'm never going to experience in my life..
Being a mother to a child that I carried for 9 months...sharing a bond beyond explanation.
So, when I think of baby showers..it kinda breaks my heart?
And I'm not trying to say I'm not happy for anyone who is pregnant.
Because I'm over joyed! I'm so excited for her.
But that also doesn't mean I'm not envious.
Another thing my boyfriend, (who one day be my husband, and the father of my ADOPTED children) works 6 days a week.
6 out of the 7 days of the already too fucking short week.
So Sunday's are "our" days...
Like people have "family" days?? Well Sunday is ours..
A day where he doesn't have to worry about work or stress...
We just get to enjoy each others company, and to focuse on each other, doing whatever tickles our fancy.
And I remember exactly why I love this man with all my heart.
I live for Sundays.
He works 6 out of those 7 days a week for me.
Yeah, he puts me through school, pays my bills, and tries to give me the world.
That's a lot on his plate.
And I'm thankful for all of that, but because he does that I don't get to see much of him.
So on Sunday I fuckin' want to see him for more than 3 hours.
Give me a break.
My life isn't incredibly hard, I'm pretty spoiled..
I know this.
I just hate when people talk shit about things they have no clue about.
You think you know my life?
Guess again.
I think I only have ONE friend who understands my life.
She knows who she is.
She knows what's important, and I'd never get shit from her for "not making time for her"
Because if you're in my life, I've made time for you.
Life is too short.
I live for no one else but me.
I don't care what you think about that statement.
It's the truth.
My decisions are just that, my descisions..
I could make wiser, or nicer ones, but fuck it.
I don't.
If a person is meant to be in your life, they will stay there.
I'll keep my friends close, and yet as far away as I please.
This is my rant.
My life.
My choices.
I know I can't please everyone, so I'm not even going to try.

In other parts of my life...
I'm just so ready to go back to school.
To have some structure back in my life.
I'm trying to get ready for that..
Organizing the house...
Making it easier for when I get home and whatnot.
My dogs are wonderful!
I spent the whole day on Friday with my father.
We had a great time.
It was a much deserved father-daughter day.
Saturday I spent with my mom.
Got my hair cut & dyed.
I'm not longer a dark brown w/ highlights..
I'm a full blown firey red head.
Yeah, I dyed my hair to match my attitude.
hahaha.
Things are pretty good.
Can't really complain.
Good Night.

Mixed Feelings.

I'm good! It's been a while again right?

Yeah I know.

Uhmm..so I decided that the job wasn't worth it.

My body just could not handle it.

Ry seems ok with it.

Now I just have to deal with the whole "I make the money, you don't" thing again.

Ugh. I did make that endocrinologist appt.

I really need some help.

I need an insulin pump, but I just can't afford one.

My cousin got married today!

It was a cute, quaint wedding.

My mom was bragging to everyone about my grades in college && I'll be the next one taking a trip down the aisle, and how it's going to be a big bash. Hahha. She kills me.

It was great to see my family, since I haven't seen them since Christmas.

I'm hopefully getting my portrait of my mom finished this week.

YAY!

It was going to be tomorrow, BUT I ran the battery dead on my car tonight ((I left the lights one for like 4 hours)) So basically I probably won't be going anywhere tomorrow.

I went to see my Dara Jo tonight! Ugh! I miss the chick SOOOO much!

Speaking of friends...I feel I'm drifting far far away from one of my closest.

But, what can I do?

This always seems to happen to me.

She is going through a lot right now...

I wish I could be there for her, but maybe I'm not what she needs.

I just...well I just miss her.

=/ Nothing I can fix on my own though.

Me & Ry are very good.

I love the kid with all my heart.

Can't wait to start remodeling or fixing our house up soon!

I'm not sure what else to say.

I'm doing very well.

I'll update soon!

G'night.

Adjusting To The New.

So, This was my first full week of work.
It Sucked.
And it was amazing.
I love my kids.
But, they have some attitude problems.
Lol.
Anywho, I'm SoOOoo completely exhausted!
My feet are hurting so bad, I've cried for the past 2 days.
So, I'm asking myself--is it worth it?
If I do quit, what will Ryan think?
I can't begin to tell you how aggravated I am with myself and the diabetes curse.
I try hard to be good..check my blood sugar..count my carbs..take shots.
And I get nothing but shit on by my body.
I think I'm dying. lol.
My mom is making me a endocrinologist appointment Monday.
Something has got to change & soon.
I'm not sure what else I can do..
but this whole low to high, high to low, but NEVER right thing has got to stop.
It's taking it's toll on my mind && body.
Whatever.
No more complaining..it could always be worse.
Tomorrow I'm giving myself a "me day."
Doing whatever tickles my fancy.
Whether that means shopping or sleeping all day.
I think I deserve one. =)
I can't wait for school to start.
I'm nervous too though..for some unknown reason.
Just because I'll have a lot on my plate.
For some reason I feel like I'm distancing myself from everyone here lately.
Well, those that I normally spill my guts to.

I normally do not open up to Ryan..

I'm not sure why, I just don't.

But, lately I've been expressing myself to him more.
I'm not sure what the deal is, with me or with anyone.
I guess I'm just trying to be more independent....
Or all my relationships have taken a turn..
Who knows.
That's all I got for now.
I'll Update Soon!
G'night All!